Piggybacking
by JennPennYenn
Summary: Kenny has something he really, really needs to tell Cartman... Fluffy and slightly crackish Kenman Oneshot.  Rated T because it's South Park.


**Piggybacking**

It was times like these when Kyle wondered why he hadn't just invited Kenny over to his house. He wondered why he had to sit on that grimy, greasy carpet in front of a static-infested, black-and-white box TV with two crooked antennae poking out from the top. He wondered why Kenny had even asked him to get together in the first place. And without Stan or Cartman, no less.

Although, Kyle had to admit to himself, it was oddly peaceful. Kenny wasn't one for small talk, or gossip or teasing. He just sat there, eyes trained on the _Terrance and Phillip_ rerun, as though he were trying to memorize it. Kyle sighed, shifting himself into a more comfortable position, with both legs splayed out across the floor, and arms draped over his stomach.

"So," he began somewhat awkwardly. Kenny shot him a brief glance; a sign he was listening. "Why did you call me over here so suddenly? Did you forget to do your weekend homework again?"

There was a small pause, before Kenny slowly shook his head. Kyle suppressed a sigh.

"Then what is it?"

Kenny tilted his head, and didn't even acknowledge his friend's presence until the screen switched to commercials. Then he turned to face Kyle head-on, shuffling onto his hands and knees.

"Cartman," he said, the name muffled by his traditional orange parka. Kyle raised a single eyebrow.

"What'd that Hitler-wannabe do this time?" he grumbled, already feeling the desire to run home and hide under his bed. Or punch a pillow or write a hate letter or something.

"Nothing," replied Kenny, big blue eyes blinking owlishly. Kyle began to feel slightly exasperated with the blonde's evasiveness.

"Would you cut to the jib already?" he snapped, a little more harshly than intended. Being the pal he was, Kenny chose to ignore the Jew's tone.

"He's kind of cool, isn't he?"

Kyle blanched, but didn't get a chance to retaliate as Kenny continued to elaborate.

"He's always got something to say, y'know? His mind is always working."

"You do realize that half of his plans get you killed, right?" asked Kyle incredulously. Kenny plopped back down, his eyes glazing over with a faraway look.

"He's getting taller," the middle-schooler continued dreamily, mitten-clad hands now clasped together in an extremely feminine fashion. "And he's so… husky…"

"He's fat," the redhead deadpanned, but was once again ignored.

"I just really… I just really…" Kenny let out a squeal and covered his face. "But I can't tell him! He'll laugh at me!"

Kyle let a groan escape his lips and slumped further down towards the grungy carpet, suddenly wishing he could melt into it.

"Kyle, you've gotta help me!" And then Kenny was grabbing Kyle by the cuff of his coat, wrenching him forward so that their noses were inches apart. "What should I do? I can't keep it all inside! I feel like I'm going to burst!"

"Dude, get off me," Kyle shoved the poorer boy away, smoothing out his coat while shooting him a sidelong glare. Upon seeing his friend's pleading expression, however, he let out a large sigh, already regretting his next words, and saying: "Listen, if you feel so strongly about it, just tell him, okay? Tell him exactly what you want. And if he makes fun of you I'll…" he grimaced; "I'll punch him in the face."

Kenny sat there, awed beyond recognition, and thoroughly touched by the Jew's loyalty. Then he broke out into a huge grin, his mouth hidden but his scrunched-up cheeks and sparkling eyes saying it all.

"Thank you, Kyle!" he cried out joyously, throwing his arms around the other boy. Kyle squeaked indignantly and wriggled out of the embrace.

"Seriously man, don't _do_ that!"

**XXX**

The next day Kenny stood at the bus stop, clutching the hem of his parka nervously as he glanced around the empty terrain. Kyle stood beside him, with Stan on the other side of the undercover redhead. Part of him was wishing that Cartman would hurry up and _get his fat butt over there_, but the other half silently prayed that he would never show.

_Don't think like that!_ He scolded himself, brows furrowing. _You have to tell him! You can't wait another day!_

"What's up with Kenny?" asked Stan, his tone set in a way that made Kenny think he wasn't supposed to hear it. Kyle shrugged.

"He's got something important to tell Cartman."

Stan gave them both a strange expression. "Okay."

"'Sup, guys?" came that throaty, one-of-a-kind voice. Kenny shrieked bloody murder and pulled the strings of his hoodie as far as they would go.

"Dude, Kenny, chill out," said Cartman, giving the smaller boy a hearty pat on the back. Kenny jumped three feet in the air, before scrambling back and ramming into Kyle.

"Hey, watch it!" he snapped, before huffing and walking around to the other side of Stan, who was watching the whole scene with clueless curiosity.

Cartman quirked an eyebrow at the trembling blonde. "Kenny, did you not get breakfast this morning?"

Kenny shook his head rapidly, still clutching his parka strings in tight little fists.

"Then seriously, what's wrong with you today?"

Kenny shot Kyle a terrified look, to which the Jew gave a quick, reassuring smile and a small waving away of the hand. Kenny gulped and turned back to Cartman, who was looking less pissed off and more bothered that he didn't know what was going on.

"C-Cartman?" Kenny inquired hesitantly, shuffling forward so that he was only inches from the taller boy. Cartman leaned back slightly, now wary.

"Yes…?"

"Um… I…" Kenny took in a shuddering breath. "I'm not sure why… and- and I know that you'll probably make fun of me, but… well I… I just really needed to tell you that…"

Kyle's eyes widened in shock. _Will he actually do it? Oh my- he's actually doing it! He's confessing to Cartman! To _Cartman_!_

Kenny screwed his eyes shut and balled his mittens into tiny fists, before practically screaming, "I really, really want you to give me a piggyback ride!"

The words echoed through the valley, ricocheted off the pine trees and seeping slowly into the snow. Stan blanched. Kyle's left eye twitched. Cartman stared blankly. And Kenny, for a moment, forgot how to breathe.

Finally, the object of affection shook his brunette head as though to clear it. "What?"

Kenny looked down at his feet and twiddled his thumbs. "It's just that, y'know, you're really tall and stocky and I just think you'd make a really good piggyback ride-giver…"

Kyle couldn't believe it. He just couldn't – how did this even make any sense? All that talking, all those affectionate, doting words, the desperate plea for advice… and all Kenny wanted was a _piggyback ride_?

"Kill me now," the Jew muttered under his breath.

Meanwhile, Cartman was still recovering from the sudden declaration. He stared down at the tiny boy – honestly, had Kenny grown at all since fourth grade? – with an unreadable expression, because quite honestly, he wasn't sure what he himself was thinking.

"You… want… a piggyback ride," he repeated. Kenny looked up, his eyes wide and hopeful as he nodded quickly.

"From me."

Another excited nod.

Cartman let out a long sigh, before turning around and crouching down. "Fine, get on."

Kenny blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

Cartman looked away, pink dusting his cheeks. "I said get on, poor boy," he grumbled. Kenny stood there for a moment longer, before squealing in delight and launching himself onto the other boy's back. Cartman let out a grunt from the sudden weight, before rising to his feet and turning back to face Stan and Kyle, who stood there with their mouths wide open.

Kenny giggled, wrapping his arms around Cartman's thick neck, hugging himself closer. Cartman himself shifted awkwardly, unsure on what to do next.

"Go," commanded Kenny. "Start moving."

"What? No!"

"Go, or I'll bite your ear!"

"Fine, fine…" Cartman growled, less out of anger and more from embarrassment, before slowly beginning to lumber through the snow. Kenny giggled again, pressing his knees into his handler's sides.

As the rider and steed began to get farther and farther away, the two boys left at the bus stop continued to stare in horrified fascination.

"Did that seriously just happen?" Stan asked.

"I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry," answered Kyle.

And so they did both.

**A/N: I'm… not sure what to say. I just felt like writing something fluffy at three in the morning, and here we are. Hopefully it wasn't too OOC. Kenny probably was, but he was having a cute uke moment so shush.**

**Please review and tell me what you think! I'm also open for suggestions. :) Thanks!**


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